Catching up // Many back bitches

#1

Preying on Writers

         Let me tell you something, preying on writers is easy. All you have to do is promise them you're going to give them their dream and you've got them...

 Unless they've been in the business long enough to learn one harsh truth—if it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is.

 The thing is these scam artists need to know who they are scamming I am sending you the actual form letter I got from "The Literary Agency Group," so that you can all see just what sort of crap writers have to deal with and just how people try to prey on our need to succeed. Further I want to tell you that I never for one minute thought these guys, "The Literary Agency Group," were a legitimate agency. I did it because Lynn wanted me to and she said, "What could it hurt?"

 I have been jumping through one hoop after another with these idiots for close to two months. In that whole time all I have ever gotten back are computer generated form letters and when I objected to the fact that I still wasn't talking to an agent directly I was sent a nasty three line letter from someone who said that last form letter was from my agent and that should have been clear.

 I don't know exactly what these guys’ scam is. Maybe they are just playing a numbers game—we send out 40 thousand manuscripts, three get taken, we make money. I think it's more likely they make their money selling critiques and edits as is pretty evident from the letter you will find under this bitch.

 They say they don't have time to talk to or e-mail you directly because, "We are too busy in New York and LA trying to sell our writers work." This was a huge red flag for me; an agent who has 3000 clients is not going to get the time of day with any publisher or producer. You don't want an agent who isn't personally interested in you and in your work enough to talk to you, or who is but doesn't have time because they have too many other clients.

 Now as you will see below they have sent me yet another computer generated form letter in which they tell me I need to rewrite my book because the computer editor says I should. They now want me to work with an editor and what do you want to bet that they want to assign me one and that I will have to pay him a fee.

 Let me point out that the book they have, the one they want me to send to an editor, is Strange Robby. Now Meisha Merlin published this book. They went under so I'm looking for a new print publisher because I really want to write the other books in this series. Baen just bought the electronic rights on this book, so those are gone. Oh and it was on the friggin’ preliminary Nebula ballot and was nominated for a Spectrum award. And by the way... I'm an editor. All things I told them that they obviously never bothered to read, and certainly didn't address in any letter to me.

I'm not saying the book couldn't use another rewrite. I always think a book could use another rewrite. But I could do it myself. If they had a human tell me what they thought needed to be changed then I might just listen, but you should have seen what their editorial program did to my book! I have this program; I know what it says. I ignore it unless I think it's right the same way I do someone who's reading for me.

 A real agent talks to you, they look over your book, they might even make some recommendations. They would never feed your work through the computer. These people do this because they are in the business of selling people dreams.

 Look at the language in the body of the letter. This is the sort of stuff they teach in an EST training seminar, a bunch of passive aggressive shit to get you into their trap.

 In my humble opinion these guys are the Publish America of literary agencies. They did not come up on Predators and Editors under the name that they used on their website, but I think they need to be there.

 This is the sort of crap writers have to deal with. It's hard to get into this business, hard to stay here, it's really hard to get an agent, and any more you have to have an agent to get into the big houses. Something like this that you can do on line seems like a dream come true. And they act like they don't just take anyone, but they do because they didn't know anything about me or my book—obviously.

 People, if you want to be a writer you need to remember one important thing, if you're looking at a literary agency that takes everyone, or a publishing house that takes everyone it's like sleeping with the town whore. You can brag if you want to, but no one will care because anyone can have a piece of it.

Selina

The following is the Email I received:

Dear Selina,

The purpose of putting your work through this editing analysis tool is to determine how close, or how far, your work is from generally acceptable publishing standards in the English language.    Yes, this is a computer generated editing analysis program but it gives us a quick way to show you how many errors remain in the work.  Of course because it is a computer program it sometimes makes stupid recommendations, but in general the results are adequate for the purpose.

As you will see, the analysis show that there is still a bit of polishing and cleanup needed.

(When there is a # in (), for example (95), that is just a sequential computer numbering system.)

Luckily, we believe in working with our authors and standing by them during the editing and cleanup process.   Many agencies will not suffer through this process with their clients.  And we use the word suffer because we know what a pain this level of detail is.  It's like having your worst grammar teacher in the 8th grade spend all her time picking on you!

So, we hope that you will take this analysis in the same vein we do.  That is, we like your work, we'd like it to be polished and if you are willing to spend some time with an editor, we would be proud to take your work to market.

Sincerely,

The Literary Agency Group

Internal Review Team

#2

Going Digital

Does anyone else think it's utter crap that they are going to screw over everyone who doesn't have cable or satellite by going all digital?

Television is the entertainment of the working class; some can't afford cable or satellite. Now they are giving people one year to either jump on the wagon or get off altogether. Some older TVs won't work even then so you'll have to send for a converter kit. Of course, the government has a program to help cover your cost—maybe.

Why are they doing this? What other reason, to make the corporations more money, of course!. Why are they making everything digital, is it cheaper? Will that savings be handed down to the millions of cable and satellite users that are currently being shafted monthly? No. More money will go into some rich ass holes’ pocket. That's what it's all about.

And the working class gets screwed, again.

I don't know about everyone else but I am tired of getting hit in my wallet every time I turn around. We are heading into a major recession entirely caused by this government’s need to make the rich even richer and screw the rest of us over.

See, the thing is it's easy to screw with the lower middle class—though there are more of us now because they've done away with the middle middle class—because we have no money and therefore no power. The more ways the big corporations can find to take money out of our pockets while we get ever less the happier they all are and the less power we have.

They just keep doing simple things to us, promising we can be whatever we want and have whatever we want if we just work harder. Yet all the while they are making it impossible for us to even keep the lifestyle we have. They give us credit cards and encourage us to run up a huge debt, and then they own us.

We can't quit working over time, we have to have two-income houses because if we don't we can't make the bills. We can't make the bills because they've told us we have to have all these things or we're living in a shit hole like a bunch of hill apes.

I wish I could say that losing their TV will get people to buy books and talk to one another, but the truth is that A) people who can't afford cable probably can't afford books and don’t go to the library, and B) most people will do without food before they do without TV. So something else in their lives will take a direct hit as they buy that new TV and/or hook up to cable.

It's time to take the big guys down a notch or two. Remember what Nancy Reagan said? Just say no. We’ll just say no to big business. Quit believing what they tell you in commercials, that huge car that gets two miles to the gallon and seats twenty-seven people will NOT get you sex or make your family happy. Your kids should NOT be watching movies in the car. They should be talking to you, looking out the window, singing songs that drive you nuts or playing those stupid-assed road games we played when we were kids. Not only are you NOT depriving your child by not giving them this but you are enriching their lives.

You absolutely do NOT have to buy name brands. The food and products are NOT any better than cheaper ones. All you are paying for is the advertisement. A bucket of KFC brought home and slammed down on the table does NOT a family dinner make. Instead of eating crappy fast food every single day why not eat at home six days a week and one day a week take the family out to a locally-owned and operated restaurant and teach your kids how to actually act in a restaurant instead of letting them eat at their happy meal and then go play in the play ground while you eat food that is clogging your arteries while you consume it and they run in screaming just often enough to stress you and everyone else in the place completely out?

All these things they have brain washed us to believe make us better people—don't. If we believe we are to be judged only on the crap we accumulate, then we really are as shallow as they think we are, and it's why it's so easy for them to play us.

I make lists of what we need. When I shop I get only what is on that list unless I see something I forgot to put down that we need. I have a rule: if I see something and I really want it and it costs less than a dollar then I buy it; if it costs over that I put it in the cart and think about it while I do my shopping and if when I get ready to check out I haven't changed my mind I get it, if I have changed my mind I put it back. If it costs more than $5.00 I don't put it in the cart, if I don't remember it when I go to check out I obviously didn't need it. Anything that costs over $20.00 gets thought about for a week and anything that costs over $100.00—well that gets thought over for months.

When we go to the club we decide who's drinking. We take $20.00 and when we run out we drink water. We are at the club to talk to friends and dance, not to drink. If I want to drink myself in a comma I will do that at home where it's cheap and safe.

Why am I so cheap? Because I can't afford to live any other way without going into debt up to my huge white ass. I write for a living. That means there is no money coming in for long stretches at a time and then a little here and a little there. My partner teaches school and gets paid once a month. We have just so much money, and it has to go so far, and unless I watch every penny we can't do it.

I'm insanely careful with our money and we still have $3800.00 in credit card debt. And let's not even talk about the company's debt.

Every day I talk to friends whose income is double, some times triple, what our combined income is, and they are in worse debt than we are.

Why? Because they don't watch what they spend. People don't realize what that one coke a day costs. Coke isn't, by the way, the “real thing.” It rots your guts and is useless calories. Let's say you are blessed with a machine that lets you get your sodas for fifty cents and let's say you only drink one a day. That's $182.50 a year. Now you're all saying, “So what? That's cheap.” Let's say three times a week you splurge and buy yourself a treat and say this averages about eighty cents. That's $124.80 a year.  Let's say three nights a week you eat at a fast food restaurant and spend only $5.00. That's $780.00 a year. Let's say you go to Wal-Mart four times a week and every time you are there you buy $10.00 in impulse items, stuff you didn't need but bought because you saw it and wanted it or to shut a screaming kid up, that's $2080.00. Now let's say twice a week you get home realize you forgot something and have to turn around and go back to the store or work or whatever, and let's be very generous and say this only costs you about $6.00 in gas. That’s $624.00. That comes to a grand total of $3790.00.

Which is what? It's $10.00 less than our personal credit card debt, that's what, and I guarantee that it's things like this and not the “must haves” that got our debt up like that. And that's me, me very careful, people always bitch that I'm cheap, me.

Now we need to consume to make sure people have jobs, but we need to think really hard about where we're consuming and where it's coming from and whether we're doing more harm than good.

For instance you need to be buying lots of books, and preferably Yard Dog Press and Selina Rosen books... All right seriously, you need to be supporting and putting your money behind things you believe in. Like small independent presses and writers whose work you like that aren't already rich and famous.

Find at least one thing that you are currently getting from some corporation and get it from a smaller non-corporate-owned source. Just one thing that you could get at Wal-Mart, or Home Depot, or Lowes that you will now be getting from some locally owned business.

For instance I buy all my feed from a local family-owned feed store and all my hardware from a local family-owned hardware store. I get the bulk of my groceries and most gifts and such at a locally owned and operated railroad damage store—so double good because these are items that would otherwise go to waste. When I can I buy produce that is locally grown.

In other words the only way to get at the corporations is by hitting them where it hurts, their wallets. We'd all like to see more small businesses make it, and the best way to do that is to support them. Eat in the locally-owned restaurants, shop at the locally-owned stores. Make lists, stick to the lists, and hit different places on different days, and then you won't use any more gas than you do now making your fifty trips a week to Wal-Mart.

The corporations and their bought and paid for public officials are trying to force us into two classes—a working class that just accepts that they will always be in debt and are prepared to do without and the super rich who, without conscience, pulls the strings that are around the working class’s throat.

People are all just accepting that there is nothing we can do to stop them from going digital, and we can't because they can do whatever they like to us and we just have to take it. But we could change that if we spoke with our money.

Selina 

 selinarosen@cox.net

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